Ten Burns quotes:
- Raise your left hock, aerate! Raise your right hock, aerate! I want to see more Teddy Roosevelts and less Franklin Roosevelts!
- This is a thousand monkeys working at a thousand typewriters. Soon, they will have written the greatest novel known to man. [reading] "It was the best of times, it was the 'blurst' of times"? You stupid monkey!
- Since the beginning of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun. I will do the next best thing: block it out.
- The man has no idea how to behave like a billionaire. Where's the dignity? Where's the contempt for the common man?
- Men, there's a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because... I crippled him myself to inspire you.
- Oh, so Mother Nature needs a favor. Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys.
- Have the Rolling Stones killed.
- Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod. We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, dammit.
- This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you!
- Cause of parents' death: got in my way.
Happy Burns Day! Number 8 is possibly my favorite Simpsons quote ever. It's not as funny out of context, so ...