John Heaton (jheaton) wrote,
John Heaton

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Ten random things: January 25

Ten Burns quotes:

  1. Raise your left hock, aerate! Raise your right hock, aerate! I want to see more Teddy Roosevelts and less Franklin Roosevelts!
  2. This is a thousand monkeys working at a thousand typewriters. Soon, they will have written the greatest novel known to man. [reading] "It was the best of times, it was the 'blurst' of times"? You stupid monkey!
  3. Since the beginning of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun. I will do the next best thing: block it out.
  4. The man has no idea how to behave like a billionaire. Where's the dignity? Where's the contempt for the common man?
  5. Men, there's a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because... I crippled him myself to inspire you.
  6. Oh, so Mother Nature needs a favor. Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys.
  7. Have the Rolling Stones killed.
  8. Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod. We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, dammit.
  9. This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you!
  10. Cause of parents' death: got in my way.

Happy Burns Day! Number 8 is possibly my favorite Simpsons quote ever. It's not as funny out of context, so ...

Tags: holidays, lists of ten things, tv: groeningverse, videos

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