John Heaton (jheaton) wrote,
John Heaton

An unfortunate mental association

My old church back in Virginia is holding its Vacation Bible School this week, which reminds me of the time I signed up to volunteer at VBS but ended up in the hospital instead.

In the weeks leading up to VBS, I'd been having some gastrointestinal problems. I don't want to disturb you with the details, but suffice to say that things weren't coming out as well as they should have. I'd visited the doctor about it, and been told to add certain supplements to my diet. When that didn't seem to work, I was advised to add, ah, certain other things in certain other places. But that didn't seem to work either.

The morning before VBS started, I woke up and found some blood in a place where blood oughtn't be, so off I went to the emergency room. I explained the problem, and after an interminable wait my doctor came in to check it out, and determined that a closer look at the affected area was in order. A much, much closer look. But a look that close requires advance preparation and careful monitoring during the preparation period, so I was admitted for an overnight stay. Once in my room, I was presented with a large bottle of a foul-tasting blend of polyethylene glycol and electrolytes called GoLYTELY. It ... it makes you go. And not lightly.

At some point during this I found time to call the VBS director and tell her I wouldn't be there the next morning. I also remember calling my brother, just to let him know what was going on, but it turned out he was out of town. But he called my sister-in-law, and she and my nephew David came by for a brief visit. David brought me one of his stuffed animals to keep me company, which I thought was awfully sweet.

The next morning, I was deemed sufficiently irrigated, and I was taken in for the procedure. I remember nothing of that; I requested full anesthesia. But I'm told that they didn't find anything out of the ordinary. The doctor still didn't know what caused the bleeding, but he speculated it might have been a burst hemorrhoid. Regardless, the problem I'd been having was no longer a problem after that, so I'd say it was definitely worth the overnight hospital stay.
Tags: family, halcyon days of yore, religion, virginia: loudoun county

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