John Heaton (jheaton) wrote,
John Heaton

Hey, Mike!

I'm told it's National Tell a Joke Day, so here's a joke. If I recall correctly, I first heard this from my college pal Mike H. back in 1989.

This guy wins a ticket to see the Green Bay Packers play the Chicago Bears at Lambeau Field. He's really excited, because he's been a Packers fan all his life but he's never able to see a game in person, and what's more, the divisional championship is on the line. And it's a great seat, too: 20 rows up, on the 50-yard line, right behind the Packers bench.

On game day, he gets to the stadium, buys a beer and some nachos, and settles into his seat, ready to enjoy the game. The Packers win the coin toss and opt to receive, and as the Bears' kicker runs at the ball to start the game, he hears someone behind him yell, "HEY, MIKE!"

He puts down his beer, stands up, turns around, and looks farther up the bowl, trying to see who yelled, but he can't figure it out. So he sits back down, a little irritated that he missed the first play of the game.

The first possession goes well for the Packers, and pretty soon they've made their way down field into field goal position. The special-teams unit runs out, the whistle blows, the ball is snapped, and ... "HEY, MIKE!"

The guy spins and looks around frantically, but again, he can't see who yelled, so he sits back down, now even more irritated.

As the game continues, every few minutes he hears the same person yelling the same thing: "HEY, MIKE!" but he can never spot who's yelling, and his irritation grows. Finally, it just gets to be too much for him. He stands up, turns around, and yells, as loud as he can, "DAMN IT, SHUT UP ALREADY! I'M TRYIN' TO WATCH THE GAME!" He turns to sit back down, but turns back and adds, "[Click for the punchline]AND MY NAME'S NOT MIKE!"
Tags: bad jokes, cornell college

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