John Heaton (jheaton) wrote,
John Heaton
jheaton

Predict-o-rama!

And now, what you've all been waiting for: my Golden Globe predictions! Remember, all my predictions are guarenteed to be correct, or double your money back!

Best Motion Picture – Drama:
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
In the absence of a clear front-runner, go with the biggest money-maker.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama
Charlize Theron, Monster
It's never safe to bet on quality when it comes to the Golden Globes, especially when a superstar is nominated in the same category, but I'll take a risk here.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama
Tom Cruise, The Last Samurai
The HFPA loves to reward superstars, and Tom Cruise is one of the superest.

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Finding Nemo
So few people have seen the other nominees that I think Nemo almost wins by default. On the other hand, picking a film that is unlikely to get an Oscar nomination is risky, given how fond the HFPA is of bragging about how often they prefict the Oscar winner.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Helen Mirren, Calendar Girls
Just because she's British.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Because he was just so damn good.

Best Foreign Language Film
Osama (Afghanistan)
I always eliminate Germany and France right off the bat, because of residual bad feelings from World War II and because no one likes the French. No one really takes Canada seriously, and the HFPA is dominated by Eastern Europeans who may still hold a grudge against the old Soviet Union. So that leaves Osama, which has the added benefit of coming from a country that until fairly recently was under the thumb of a brutal dictatorship.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Renee Zellweger, Cold Mountain
Because she's the biggest star among the nominees.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Albert Finney, Big Fish
A risky choice, given that Jack Nicholson is competing in the same category, but Finney is British, so he gets the nod.

Best Director - Motion Picture
Peter Jackson, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Who else?

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture
Sofia Coppola, Lost in Translation
Yeah, I don't know. This is a guess.

Best Original Score - Motion Picture
Howard Shore, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Likewise. Honestly, I find the LOTR scores very unmemorable, but what the heck.

Best Original Song - Motion Picture
"The Heart Of Every Girl" – Mona Lisa Smile Music By: Elton John Lyrics By: Bernie Taupin
A tough category, because it's dominated by big stars like U2, Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder, and Sting. But in the music biz, who's bigger than Elton John? He's been a star for like 30 years.

Best Television Series - Drama
Six Feet Under (HBO)
Eh. I don't think there's a front-runner this year, so let's go with the HBO series.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama
Jennifer Garner, Alias
She won last year, so why not?

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Drama
Kiefer Sutherland, 24
He retains some movie star glamour.

Best Television Series - Musical Or Comedy
Arrested Development (FOX)
The Golden Globes have a history of supporting odd shows on upstart networks. Plus, I like it the best of the nominees.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy
Sarah Jessica Parker, Sex and The City
Supahstah!

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy
Tony Shalhoub, Monk
Because everyone loves Tony Shaloub. Seriously, is there anyone out there who doesn't like him? He just seems like a nice guy.

Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Angels in America (HBO)
Practically a gimme.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
Meryl Streep, Angels in America
She's a movie star.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
Al Pacino, Angels in America
And so is he.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Megan Mullally, Will & Grace
I think the Sex and the City ladies will cancel each other out.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Sean Hayes, Will & Grace
As will the Angels in America gentlemen.
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