John Heaton (jheaton) wrote,
John Heaton

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Rolling commentary on the Screen Actors Guild Awards

God bless TNT showing the awards ceremony twice, thus letting me put both The Simpsons and the awards telecast on the TiVo.

  • Two award ceremonies, two supporting actor awards for Tim Robbins. He's a little long-winded, but my position is that award winners should be able to talk as long as they want. Was the deal with the spotlights a glitch, or a sign that they wanted him to shut up?
  • I know The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King has a large cast, but you'd think that they'd at least try to show some of the cast, you know, acting, instead of just slapping together a montage of the actors. That's so lame. Show an actual clip, not just a stupid montage!
  • Renee Zellweger and Tim Robbins both thanked the authors of the books on which their films were based. Nice. I didn't much care for the book Cold Mountain though.
  • Hey, the announcer pronounced Peter Krause's name wrong!
  • Kiefer Sutherland is the third winner to thank his writers. A bad script can make the best actor in the world look like a chump.
  • Actors are almost uniformly terrible at reading off teleprompters, and Jane Kaczmarek and William Petersen are no exception. You'd think that they'd just, you know, memorize their lines or something.
  • As she approaches the podium, Frances Conroy looks embarrassed to have won. She knows how to pronounce Peter Krause's name though. She's the first winner tonight to not thank the writers.
  • Ah, an anniversary montage. I'd forgotten about Daniel Day-Lewis and his purple velour suit. Traumatic amnesia, probably.
  • Bad blocking on the presentation of the Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series: part of John Mahoney's head was in shadow. I like that each of the nominees in the category submitted a clip of their ensemble acting. That's how it's supposed to be done. I hope the ensemble of Lord of the Rings is embarrassed at their lame clip.
  • Melissa Gilbert looks like she's wearing a rejected costume from the X-Men movies.
  • Oh, Meryl, you are no poet. Why couldn't you have followed the example of Andre 3000 and just say, "thank you" and leave the stage?
  • Man, Peter Dinklage is one little dude. The Station Agent montage is slightly better than that of Lord of the Rings. While I would have preferred seeing one scene instead of little bitty pieces parts of several scenes, they at least showed a little acting. Sorry to keep harping on this, but I feel strongly about the subject.
  • Aw, Megan Mullally dragged Debra Messing on stage with her to say that she couldn't do as good a job without her co-stars. Cute. Doris Roberts looks pissed that she didn't win. Sorry, Doris, you'll have to wait for the Emmys.
  • The clip they showed of Tony Shaloub for the Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series award was the same one they used for the Golden Globes. Worked better this time, though.
  • Ye gods, I think Marcia Gay Harden may give birth right there on stage. She said that Mystic River takes place in South Boston, but I thought it was set in East Boston. Another freaking montage, but guess what? It's better than the one for Lord of the Rings.
  • The clip they showed from Will & Grace -- "She doesn't have kabobs, she has a kagina." -- was the same as was shown during the Golden Globes, but this time they showed the line that followed that one: "And nice k-tits." That's the kind of thing you can get away with when your award show is shown on cable.
  • Boo, Sex and the City! I'm so glad that show's going off the air. But yay for letting Kristin Davis speak for the show.
  • Michael Douglas just got a life achievement award from the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, and now he's here to present one to Karl Malden. There's synchronicity for you. And he's doing a far better job of it than Danny DeVito and Sharon Stone did presenting his.
  • I want to take this opportunity to say that my friend Leigh hates Andie McDowell. I have no particular objection to her myself, but Leigh hates her so much and has told me so on so many occasions that I can't see Andie McDowell without thinking of Leigh. And Al Pacino may hate her too, since he hugged Mark Ruffalo but not her.
  • Hey, guess what? The montage for In America was better than the montage for Lord of the Rings! Of course, it's hard to imagine how any montage could possibly be worse. But Seabiscuit has a lot of pluck! They may be able to pull it off.
  • Wow, a lot of big names died this year. I love that they used clips from Airplane for Robert Stack.
  • Clint Eastwood did a really good job introducing the Outstanding Female Actor in a Leading Role in a Motion Picture category. If he was reading from the teleprompter, he's much better at it than most. I'm not shocked Charlize Theron won; I thought she was the best of the nominated performances, but not having seen any of the others, I may not be the best judge.
  • Here's Seabiscuit! And surprise, surprise, it's the best clip of the night! An actual scene from the movie, showing the cast actually acting! Ironically, it's the worst of the nominated films.
  • Holy crap, Johnny Depp! I think he deserved it, but I never thought he'd win.
  • "Celebrating more classic moments from the Screen Actors Guild Awards"? They must be running ahead of schedule. I hope the Academy Award producers are taking notes.
  • The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King won Outstanding Performance by the Cast of a Motion Picture? Did they not see the montage? Also, it's slightly bizarre that the voters would pick the cast as a whole as the best cast performance while none of the actors were recognized for their performances individually.

And that's it! Good show. Pretty good winners. Next stop: the Academy Awards! Whee!


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