mellowTen things unlikely to be said by John Kerry at tomorrow's Presidental debate:
- Everything's going great in Iraq.
- When Strom Thurmond ran for president, I voted for him. I'm proud of it. And if the rest of the country had followed my lead, we wouldn't have had all these problems over all these years.
- George Soros is a drug pusher.
- Donald Rumsfeld is doing a superb job.
- Most problems can be solved by transcendental meditation.
- Tax breaks for the wealthy benefit everyone.
- I'm probably not the only one here who is more outraged by the outrage than by the treatment of the prisoners at Abu Gharib.
- I forgot Poland.
- The Ten Commandments are the basis of our basic freedoms and the cornerstone of our Western legal tradition, and I oppose any governmental action to restrict, prohibit, or remove public display of the Decalogue or other religious symbols.
- Fuck you, Mr. President.
This is for 
boliver, who wanted to see tax breaks for the wealthy mentioned in a list. Jude Wanniski would be proud.
Annotations:
2. Based on remarks by Trent Lott, December 2002
3. Opinion held by Lyndon LaRouche
4. Based on remarks made by President Bush, May 2004
5. Slight oversimplification of the Natural Law Party platform
6. Slight oversimplification of supply-side economic theory
7. Based on remarks made by Sen. James Inhofe, May 2004
9. Taken from the 2004 Texas Republican Party platform (page P-7)
10. Inspired by this comment to 
nocturne_alley