John Heaton (jheaton) wrote,
John Heaton

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An actual conversation I had today at work:

E: I'm trying to remember why I've heard of The Bonfire of the Vanities.
J: I don't know. Because it's one of the most famous books written in the last twenty years? Because they made a film of it starring Tom Hanks and Melanie Griffith? Because the movie was so terrible, there was another book called The Devil's Candy about how bad it was?
E: I think it was mentioned on Family Guy.

The real punchline is that I knew exactly what he was referring to: an episode of Futurama ("The Day the Earth Stood Stupid") in which Fry reads from Bonfire of the Vanities in an effort to defend Earth from an invasion of Giant Brains.

If I may steal a joke from pomobarney, today at work I moved books slightly to the left for a couple of hours. We get our shipment of new books on Tuesday, and this week we got, for no reason I can see, a metric assload of mass-market paperbacks. Making room for said assload required condensing the existing stock, which just a few weeks ago we had to spread out to fill the spaces left when the voided titles were pulled during out inventory. So I spent a lot of time moving books from one shelf to another; I would estimate that I ended up relocating at least two-third of our mass-market general fiction over the course of two hours.

It's kind of aggravating that I had to do it though. It's not that I dislike doing things like that—it's actually kind of fun, not unlike playing a really simple game of Tetris—but rather that the job should have been long finished by the time my stint on the registers ended and I was able to return to shelving. Rather than bore everyone with a lot of pointless detail, let me just say that at the start of my eight-and-a-half hour shift, there was a cart containing about thirty-nine shelf-feet of mass-market paperbacks. From 10 AM to 2 PM, that cart was in the hands of E, who managed to shelve about three feet of books. Three feet! I sorted and shelved the remaining thirty-six feet in less time than he took to shelve three feet. (Full disclosure: my co-worker H helped me finish during the half-hour our shifts overlapped.) I'm tempted to say something about it to the MOD tomorrow. Not that I want to be a tattle-tale, of course, but really, I think this goes beyond normal slacking off.


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