Ten things I won't do to my sister on her birthday:
- Hit her in the eye with a badminton birdie
- Eat her liver with some fava beans and a Diet Coke
- Say that Mia Hamm wasn't that great
- Make her leave the movie before it's over
- Endorse Gordon Kensgaard
- Tell that story about the knock-knock joke
- Take her hunting and shoot her in the face
- Offer her some Point beer but give her Grain Belt
- Make her watch Rattle and Hum again
- Call her "Shirley"
Happy birthday, Jenni!