John Heaton (jheaton) wrote,
John Heaton

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Ten random things: June 12

Ten apologies:

"I am sincerely sorry that I've scared people. I will never let this happen again."
Steve Irwin, after feeding a dead chicken to a 13-foot crocodile with one hand while holding his one-month-old son in his other arm
"We are deeply sorry for what has happened to these people and what the families must be feeling. It's just not right. And we will get to the bottom of what happened. It's simply unacceptable that anyone would engage in the abuse of Iraqi prisoners."
Condoleezza Rice, responding to the Abu Ghraib prison abuse scandal
"Well, my analysis was wrong and I'm sorry... What do you want me to do? Go over and kiss the camera? What do you want me to do?"
Bill O'Reilly, on seeing videotape of himself pledging to "apologize to the nation" if no weapons of mass destruction were found in Iraq
"Let me offer a profuse apology from this network. We accidentally misspelled your name in the last hour and we are terribly sorry."
MSNBC anchor Gregg Jarrett apologizing on the air to black political consultant Niger Innis, whose name appeared with an extra "G" in the on-screen graphic
"It was never my intention to hurt anyone. If my remarks offended anyone, I am sorry."
Chicago White Sox announcer Jimmy Piersall, after calling baseball wives "horny broads"
"Sometime big corporations make mistakes. In this case, we did, and we've learned from it."
Taco Bell, after firing a store manager for leaving the store to help someone who had been injured in a street fight
"Call off the dogs please. I surrender. I apologize. I am chastened and will never use 'hot tub' and 'Marin County' in the same sentence again. I won't even try to explain my position except to say I was and remain so offended by John Walker Lindh that I hurt others' feelings."
George H. W. Bush, after referring to American Taliban enlistee Lindh as a "poor, misguided Marin County hot-tubber"
"If anything I have said has hurt Billy Ray Cyrus or his family, I apologize. But I don't apologize for my opinion."
Travis Tritt, for a lengthy critique of "Achy Breaky Heart" and its video
"I regret sincerely the pain my comments caused last week, particularly to survivors of the Holocaust. The horrors of the Holocaust were unique in the annals of human history."
Justice Jean Bienvenue, after comparing the Nazis' use of gas chambers to execute their victims favorably to a woman's violent murder of her husband
"I apologize to whoever I need to apologize to. This was a mistake, a very unfortunate mistake."
Merit Industries executive Herbert Miller, apologizing for a mistake his company made in fulfilling an order for a commemorative plaque to be presented to James Earl Jones at a celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King's birthday. The plaque read, "Thank you James Earl Ray for keeping the dream alive."

This list was drawn from My Bad: 25 Years of Public Apologies and the Appalling Behavior That Inspired Them, a new book by Paul Slansky and Arleen Sorkin.


  • Genius

    This is an amazing comic strip. Nobody could do bleak like Charles M. Schulz.

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