John Heaton (jheaton) wrote,
John Heaton
jheaton

  • Music:

Ten random things: Reader Request Month, day 26 (belated)

Ten more surprising revelations from the past of Sen. George Allen:

  1. He fervently believed that Klaatu was the Beatles recording under another name, and cried for three days upon learning the truth
  2. Macaca was his sled
  3. He threatened to have a cashier fired when she told him he couldn't use his Giant BonusCard at Safeway
  4. During his single term as a member of the U.S. House of Representatives, he regularly sang karaoke at a gay bar in Arlington, Va.
  5. He claimed to have played Horace Vandergelder in his high school's production of Hello, Dolly, but actually portrayed Ambrose Kemper
  6. For a class project in grade school, he wrote a updated version of Little Black Sambo in which the tigers caught and messily devoured Sambo
  7. He preferred New Coke
  8. Early one morning while making the rounds, he took a shot of cocaine and he shot his woman down
  9. He spent hours trying to convince his teammates on the University of Virginia football team to exchange their cleats for fuzzy pink sequined slippers
  10. He once received a letter from James Earl Ray thanking him for his opposition to establishing the birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr., as a state holiday, and carried it in his wallet for several years thereafter, proudly showing it to anyone who asked

Today's first list, which was supposed to be yesterday's list but wasn't due to a mail server error, is for figgy_newton, who wanted to see fuzzy pink sequined slippers mentioned in a list. She has a peculiar fondness for things that are pink and fuzzy; last year, she reqested fuzzy pink mittens.

The junior U.S. Senator from Virginia has run into some problems on the campaign trail of late, including: he called a dark-skinned Indian-American "macaca," which (supposedly unbeknownst to him) is a racial epithet in French-speaking parts of north Africa; he flew into a rage when asked by a reporter if his mother (a speaker of French from north Africa, incidentally) had been born Jewish; and, most recently, reports from several of his college classmates that he was in the habit of using a racial epithet of American origin while at UVa in the 70s. Quite a guy, our Sen. Allen.

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