John Heaton (jheaton) wrote,
John Heaton

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Ten random things: October 18

Ten punchlines to New Yorker cartoons:

  1. "Death ray, fiddlesticks! Why, it doesn't even slow them up."
  2. "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog."
  3. "No, Thursday's out. How about never—is never good for you?"
  4. "I think you should be more explicit here in step two."
  5. "It's a bedtime story. It doesn't need corroboration."
  6. "It's like this. If the rich have money, they invest. If the poor have money, they eat."
  7. "The fact that you cats were considered sacred in ancient Egypt cuts no ice with me."
  8. "I had my own blog for a while, but I decided to go back to just pointless, incessant barking."
  9. "Speaking personally, I haven't had my day, and I've never met any dog who has."
  10. "Fred is heterosexual, but I wish he'd be a little more blatant about it."

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