John Heaton (jheaton) wrote,
John Heaton

  • Music:

And the toaster's been laughing at me

I get the feeling the Washington Post crossword puzzle is out to get me. Yesterday's puzzle featured the clue "Cornell for whom the college was named." How exciting, I thought, my alma mater appearing (somewhat obliquely) in a crossword puzzle. But when I went to enter William Wesley Cornell's name in the grid, I found a mere four spaces. It seems they were actually looking for the Cornell for whom the university was named, William Wesley Cornell's cousin, Ezra. Curses!

Then this morning I sat down with pen in hand to solve the puzzle in the Post Sunday magazine. As always, I started with the upper left corner. The name of the star of I, Claudius escaped me momentarily, but I knew that 19-Across, "Ashe event," was the USOPEN. (Arthur Ashe Stadium is the center court of the U. S. Open tennis tournament.) Turning to the down clues, my eyes landed on 3-Down: "Iowa college." Three letters, second letter O. I threw down my pen and said, "No!" (Really, I did!) But alas, it was true: I had to fill in the name of Cornell College's hated rival, Coe College, which sucks. Talk about adding insult to injury.

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