But that's never stopped me before.
Sheryl Crow (Favorite Female Artist - Pop-Rock), OutKast (Favorite Band, Duo or Group - Soul-Rhythm & Blues) and the Dixie Chicks (Favorite Band, Duo or Group - Country and Favorite Album - Country), congratulations on your awards, which were well-deserved. Sheryl, thanks especially for beating Celine Dion.
Carolyn Dawn Johnson (Favorite New Artist - Country Music), Avalon (Favorite Artist - Contemporary Inspirational Music), and Moe Loughran (Coca-Cola New Music Award, whatever the hell that is), I never heard of you, but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt for now, so congratulations to you too. Avalon, you get bonus points for admitting during the acceptance speech that no one in the audience had ever heard of you.
Everyone else, please return your awards, which were undeserved, and stop recording immediately. Thank you.