John Heaton (jheaton) wrote,
John Heaton

Ten random things: Reader Request Month, day 53

Ten tips to protect yourself from zombies:

  1. Use Molotov cocktails to slow their pursuit or, if you're lucky, burn them to ashes
  2. Make sure your sword or other bladed weapon is fully functional, and not some lame dull-edged replica
  3. The ideal blunt instrument: a crowbar
  4. Keep plenty of gas on hand, for Molotov cocktails and keeping your chainsaw ready for use
  5. Trim your hair short, to make it more difficult for zombies to grab
  6. Ascend to the second floor and destroy the stairs -- zombies lack the cognitive function necessary to locate and use a ladder
  7. Steal a helicopter or boat and proceed to the nearest offshore oil rig
  8. Avoid close combat at all costs
  9. A firearm is your most valuable anti-zombie tool, so make sure you keep it loaded
  10. When in doubt, run like hell

Today's list if for edhed, who wanted to know how to protect herself from zombies. This list borrows heavily from the seminal guide to surviving zombie attacks, The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks.


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