John Heaton (jheaton) wrote,
John Heaton

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Notes on the Golden Globes

Well, that didn't go so well. Out of 24 categories, I successfully predicted ten winners. I would have had eleven if... well, wait. I'll get to it.

  • The opening song featured many clips of various stars arriving for the ceremony ... and a file clip of Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. We'd just seen Aniston and Pitt arrive for the ceremony, so we knew a) Jennifer Aniston had a broken foot and was walking with a cane, and b) Brad Pitt had long, stringy hair. The Aniston in the clip was not walking with a cane, and the Pitt had shorter hair. I guess they arrived too late to be edited into the clip.

  • Speaking of Jennifer Aniston, the Friends theme they played as she approached the stage was from the Replacements album, not from the TV show. The guitar bit is a little different in the album version.

  • Larry David: "This is a sad day for the Golden Globes." Larry, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association gave an award to Pia Zadora. They're beyond embarrassment.

  • When I was making my predictions earlier, I reasoned that the winner of the Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made For Television would go to a production about World War II. Unfortunately, I failed to do any research on the matter beforehand. Looking at the nominees, I decided Path To War sounded more like a World War II picture than any of the other nominees. But in fact, Path To War was about the Vietnam War. It was The Gathering Storm that was about World War II. And it won. Damn it! This is exactly the sort of thing they invented the IMDb to prevent.

  • Brendan Fraser: "Please salute me.." Whatever you say, Mr. Fraser! I liked that they introduced him as "Michael Caine's co-star in The Quiet American." I was hoping they would introduce Michael Caine as Brendan Fraser's co-star when he came out to introduce Gene Hackman, but to no avail.

  • Sharon Stone's dress looked awful. And why did she scream the names of all the nominees?

  • Richard Gere: The Hollywood Foreign Press is "very eccentric." That is so true! The rest of his speech was pretty bad. I liked that Renée Zellweger made fun of it in her own acceptance speech.

  • Speaking of bad dresses, why was Lara Flynn Boyle dressed as a ballerina? She looked ridiculous. Annette Bening, on the other hand, looked fabulous.

  • Why was Heath Ledger all twitchy?

  • Bono calls the Edge, "the Edge." As in, "Why don't you say something, the Edge?" You'd think after all these years, he'd just call him "the."

  • Martin Scorcese's win for Best Director may be a good sign for his chances at the Oscars.

  • Sigourney Weaver, introducing the fifth Best Drama nominee: "Tonight's fish..."

  • Here's how I managed to successfully pick the Best Foreign Language Film winner without having seen or even having heard of many of the nominees, because it demonstrates that my methods, while eccentric, are not to be mocked. First I eliminated the French nominee, because everyone hates the French. I eliminated the nominee from Brazil, because South America doesn't count, and the one from Mexico because it may as well be in South America. I tossed out China, because they're Communists, and Germany, because of lingering Nazi issues. That left Spain. No one objects to Spain, except maybe the Basques, and who cares about the Basques?

  • Jack Nicholson: "I don't know whether I should be proud or ashamed, because I thought we made a comedy." You and me both, Jack.

  • Nicole Kidman looked great. And while I was confident she'd win tonight, I like Julianne Moore for the Oscar. But Moore's neither well-known nor foreign enough to win a Golden Globe.

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