Look! This is me being too lazy to compose a list.
Ten facts about jheaton:
- jheaton once finished "The Song that Never Ends".
- jheaton can judge a book by its cover.
- jheaton is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
- jheaton can divide by zero.
- jheaton can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
- jheaton can hold his breathe for nine years.
- jheaton has 3 knees on each leg.
- jheaton has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
- jheaton can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
- jheaton once impregnated a woman by pointing to her and saying, "boo-yah."
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