John Heaton (jheaton) wrote,
John Heaton
jheaton

  • Mood:
  • Music:

"Here, have a Grammy."

Comments on the 45th Annual Grammy Awards, presented last night in New York City, presented here as they occurred to me during the ceremony.

  • I wish my upper register was as good as Art Garfunkle's.


  • Dave Grohl gets things off to an odd start by describing the Pop Performance by a Duo or Group nominees as "the toppermost of your poppermost."


  • Joe Pantoliano was dressed in suit with no tie, a long scarf tied around his neck, and a beret. Who the hell does he think he is, Otto Preminger? I'm surprised he wasn't carrying a riding crop and a megaphone too.


  • Norah Jones is cute! She's got that big forehead thing going for her, like Alexis Bledel (or as I referred to her last night, "that girl on that show we watch").


  • I'm not convinced Jones should have been nominated in the Pop field. I think she would be a better fit in Traditional Pop, or maybe even Jazz. On the other hand, the nominations are made within a field: pop artists nominate pop artists, jazz artists nominate jazz artists, and so on. So obviously the member of the Academy who belong to the Pop field thought she belonged in the Pop field.


  • You shouldn't be eligible for a Lifetime Achievement Award until you're dead, or at the very least terminally ill. How can you judge the achievements of a lifetime before that lifetime has expired? I'm willing to grant an exemption to people that once recorded together but no longer do, so Simon and Garfunkle can keep their award. But Johnny Mathis and Etta James, please turn in your Lifetime Achievement Awards; the Academy will hold onto it for you and present it to your heirs at the appropriate time.


  • Speaking of the Lifetime Achievement Awards, they were announced in a very strange and offhand way. I didn't realize that Glenn Miller even won one of the Lifetime Achievement Awards until this morning, because John Leguizamo's introduction of it was so incomprehensible.


  • A colloquy regarding Faith Hill:
    tivogoddess: "She doesn't appear to be wearing any pants."
    jheaton: "That would be acceptable."


  • Class act, part one: Eminem accepting his Best Rap Album award by paying tribute to the rappers who inspired him.

  • Neologisms, part one: John Leguizamo asked the audience to "witnessify" the New York Philharmonic.


  • Phizillip on Coldplay: "Why do we need these guys when we already have Radiohead?"


  • Mysterious slogans, part one: The lead singer of Coldplay had "MAKE TRADE FAIR" written on his hand and on the side of his piano. In case you were wondering, Make Trade Fair is an Oxfam project designed to draw build support for modifying international trade policies to encourage manufacturers to improve working conditions and pay for their employees overseas. See maketradefair.com for details.


  • Neologisms, part two: Fred Durst said, "I hope we all are in agreeance that this war should go away as soon as possible."


  • Dave Grohl was nominated twice in the Hard Rock Performance category, as a member of both the Foo Fighters and Queens of the Stone Age. Quoth Mr. Tivogoddess: "He tries to be in as many bands as possible, to cover his bases."


  • Best commercials: the Spanish-language Crest with Scope commercial, and the Hyundai commercial with the woman hitting the salesman. "Please don't hit me." Hee!


  • Mysterious slogans, part two: Eminem wore a shirt reading "FREE YAYO" on the front and "G Unit" on the back. G Unit is the rap group led by recently arrested rapper 50 Cent; Tony Yayo is a member of G Unit. But I don't know why or from where Yayo needs to be freed.


  • After Norah Jones won Best New Artist, I asked, "will she pull a Christopher Cross?" Answer: no. Cross won all four of the general awards (Song of the Year, Record of the Year, Album of the Year, and Best New Artist), but Jones only won three. Song of the Year is awarded to the songwriter, and Norah Jones did not write "Don't Know Why."


  • The Flaming Lips won the Best Rock Instrumental Performance award for "Approaching Pavonis Mons By Balloon (Utopia Planitia)" Any Star Trek fan can tell you that last word is pronounced "pla-NEE-sha," but the announcer pronounced it as "pla-neh-TEE-uh." Man! What was his problem?


  • Best performance, hands down, was the Van Zandt/Grohl/Springsteen/Costello/Kanal jam on "London Calling." That rocked! Eminem's "Lose Yourself" was pretty good too, though it's odd he chose to perform that song instead of "Without Me." (A good kind of odd, though, since I don't like "Without Me.") And loathe though I am to admit it, 'N Sync's Bee Gees tribute was impressive. Those boys can sing.


  • Class act, part two: Norah Jones, accepting her Album of the Year award by thanking everyone who performed during the ceremony.
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